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My wife, she has a spotted horse, with all white mane & tail.
She thinks he is the finest thing that ever trotted the rail. She calls him Willy's Wonder, and if the truth I tell,
That fancy pampered mini has made my life pure HELL!
My wife she used to cook for ME and serve it with champagne.
Now she'd rather feed that horse and fix his special grain.
She drives him every morning, and grooms him half the night.
The last time that she kissed ME, it was just to be polite!
He dresses better than I do, with matching wraps and ties.
My wardrobe's so neglected now that I attract the flies.
One day my wife was shopping, she was down at the mall,
And fancy pampered Willy was just standing in his stall.
He looked so smug and sassy, that I began to grin,
I'd harnessed that fat sucker, and take him for a spin.
I've wondered since if cues I gave, he might have misconstrued,
For when I climbed aboard that cart, he rightly came UNGLUED!
He bucked and spun, and snorted fire,
and backed me through a fence.
I saw big stars, and there are 6 teeth that I ain't heard from since!
My wife came home and saw me, just a lying in the dirt,
She rushed up to her HORSE and asked him:
"Sweetheart are you HURT?
He'd scratched his nose a little bit, and the memory galls me yet,She left me lying in the mud, and ran to call the VET!
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